Looking Up

By Barbara D. Kiernan, M.A. '90

Chelsea Bailey '08 remembers the awkwardness well. "You could feel it in the room as we took turns introducing ourselves," she says, recalling the first meeting of her mentor group last year in Ignatian Residential College. "After we went around the room, it was like, now what?"

Not to worry. Reaching into her bag of tricks, Patricia Brennan, M.A.'79, decided it was time to play Two Truths and a Lie. She went first, challenging the seven sophomores in the group to guess whether: 1) she'd avoided being kidnapped in the Dominican Republic; 2) she'd met Fidel Castro; or 3) she was Phi Beta Kappa. Before long, students were telling their two truths and a lie, guessing if the person across from them was really allergic to peanut butter, had held the Stanley Cup, or played the oboe.

Brennan, now in her fourth year as a mentor in the living and learning program for select sophomores, continues to be dazzled by the caliber of students the program attracts. Established in 2001 through a grant from the Lilly Endowment, Ignatian Residential College offers students a host of ways to integrate the traditional "compartments" of student life in an atmosphere conducive to reflection. Vital to the program is a team of adult mentors, drawn from the ranks of alumni, faculty, administrators, staff, and friends of Fairfield, who volunteer because they care.

"From the moment I get copies of their applications, the kids in my group are in my prayers. I love them before I even meet them," says Brennan, confident that the foundation is in place for a community-building year.

"Patricia is awesome," says Bailey. "She's open about herself in a way that makes you feel like an equal." In Brennan's mind, such sharing is important in creating trust, but equally important is empowering students to make the mentor group their own. "The purpose of the mentor group," she explains, "is not to hang out or be best buddies. It's about learning to share at a depth that's different from what you'd do with everyday friends." Thus, from the get-go, Brennan has her students rotate responsibility for gathering, opening, and closing their monthly meetings.

"I offered to be the gatherer," says Sarah Nelson '07, now two years removed from the experience, "because I love being creative." Rather than send e-mail reminders about meeting dates and times, Nelson worked magic with colored paper and Sharpie markers, creating a different door hanger each month. To her delight, she began to notice the pumpkin- or leprechaun- or peanut-shaped reminders being used as bookmarks.

"Patricia sets the tone through little things," says Bailey. "She brings something symbolic to put on the table, like a candle (don't worry, we don't light it!), and something we can take away, like leaves or stones. She's someone you can turn to any time."

Brennan professes amazement at the things students come up with for opening prayer and closing comments. "Once they start doing it, they set their own bar and then raise it," she says. At the end of each year, Brennan invites one member of the group to be her co-mentor the next year. "It's a joy having someone from within the circle step into leadership," she says, noting that the choice is never easy.

"When Patricia asked me to co-mentor, I was honored," Carlos Rom '07 e-mailed from his study abroad program in Spain. "Helping Patricia with meetings and sharing my experiences with the new kids was great. The friendships you make are forever."

"The quality of students Fairfield draws is amazing," says Brennan. "They're smart. They do their work. And they 'get' the importance of giving back," she enthuses. "They may not walk around saying AMDG (Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, 'For the Honor and Glory of God'), but they internalize it. When they hear of a need, they're ready to step in and fill it."

Which is precisely what Brennan did when she volunteered to be an Ignatian College mentor. "In my life, I've always had a friend with rock-solid faith, someone who could hold me in prayer during the rough times," she says. "And professionally, I've had a series of mentors, so I've been very lucky." A licensed professional counselor with a private practice, Brennan earned her master's degree at the University's Graduate School of Education and Allied Professions and today specializes in grief and loss, often working with grieving parents. The mother of two grown children, she's aware of how deeply parents love their children and how quickly life can change.

Being with vibrant college students provides the balance. "These kids," says Brennan, "are good kids, and they are full of life."